The Lost Kid
by Shinda Shikai
Summary: I was a prisoner of war, an escapee and then an orphan. All within a month. Except I was not alone. Not since the moment a mind transfer jutsu was used at the wrong moment. Nara!OC Set during and after the Second Shinobi war.


**Welcome~ Warning**** that this fic starts dark. It's a ninja war, so yeh. **

* * *

My mother fell pregnant mere months before the war broke out.

I was two when my clansmen were sent to join the frontlines despite being a clan better suited for strategy.

And on my fourth birthday, my very clan home was attacked. It was a sneak attack, breaking down the wall separating our clan, which was on the outskirts of the village, with the outside world.

I was with friends that day. Inoko and Choichi. Despite everything, our caretakers had made sure we were together to celebrate my birthday. Inoko was a few years older than me. Eight, in fact, almost a genin already. The age limit had been temporarily lowered for the sake of the war. She was currently closest in age to me out of everyone in her clan. Choichi was only two years older than me, also the closest in age out of his clan. He was in his first year at the academy.

I knew that one day, we would be the next Ino-Shika-Cho formation. I didn't mind the thought. I liked Inoko and Choichi.

But such things would never eventuate.

Our clan was taken by surprise on that day, my fourth birthday. In the confusion, our caretakers had made the rash decision to send us packing out of the broken village wall in order to escape.

In hindsight, it wasn't the brightest idea. But we were too young at the time to know any different, and our caretakers were civilians. They don't really know how shinobi work.

We would later find out that the intruders had been almost instantly eliminated. But there we were, Choichi, Inoko and I, running for our lives into the bushes. Further from Konoha. Closer to danger and potential enemy.

Considering how young we were, it was no surprise we soon found ourselves lost.

We'd been running for hours and had finally taken a break. There was dense foliage all around them. Should we go back? Should we keep running?

The choice was taken out of our hands.

Only moments after we'd stopped to discuss our options, an Ame ninja appeared before us, kunai at the ready. We'd been followed.

In all likelihood, we would die there. I had never had shinobi training, Inoko was only just a genin, and Choichi was a 1st year academy student.

That cynical part of me told me, in no uncertain terms, even the three of us together were no match for a chunin or jounin.

Inoko moved quickly, her training kicking in. She pushed us behind her and raised a kunai I hadn't realised she had hidden up her sleeve. Her mouth drew back into a snarl, her eyes wide and desperate like a cornered animal. She, like me, seemed to realise that we were out of our league.

Despite this, she leapt at him and let out a wild scream, but the man just laughed, dodging her frantic slashes and desperate attacks.

Maybe it was out of desperation, or in the hopes she would take him off-guard, that she attempted the mind transfer jutsu.

It was a foolish mistake, and she would pay dearly. The ninja jumped aside, clearly realising something was amiss with her stance, though he still had yet to realise she was a Yamanaka. Or that Choichi was an Akimichi, for that matter. He was clearly uneducated about our clan ties. Otherwise he might have thought twice about what he did next.

Three hostages from prestigious clans were better than one, after all.

It was sheer luck that she happened to be facing me when she activated the technique, and if I was honest I didn't really know what was going on either. I had yet to learn about the techniques of the Yamanaka at that age.

It was the reason that, when the technique hit me and suddenly, I had a visitor in my mind. I stumbled at the sudden vertigo I experienced from the incomprehensible feeling of my mind sharing with another conscience.

And I- _we _looked up in time to see Inoko's body wide open to attack, still standing in that strange stance. Had the ninja known she was a Yamanaka maybe he wouldn't have slit her throat while she stood there, completely defenceless.

Both of us watched with horror as the arc of his swing almost left Inoko's head detached from her body. She collapsed, her eyes lifeless and half of her throat laid bare to the world as she hit the ground. The blood immediately started flowing from her neck, pooling around her head in a sea of red.

I didn't even have time to process the scene, though it would no doubt haunt me for years to come.

Inoko and I witnessed our first death that day. As did Choichi, but it didn't matter for him.

However, Inoko did not disappear from my mind. So it wasn't really a death, I suppose.

We had no chance to collect ourselves. The ninja had clearly grown bored.

Then he struck.

Everything went black.

* * *

As far as everyone knew, Inoko Yamanaka and Choichi Akimichi died that day. I would only find out about Choichi almost a month later.

And I was abducted, presumably to unlock the secrets of the Nara clan. Not that I could provide them much, but I still had potential as a hostage.

When I next awoke, or rather _we _awoke, I was gagged, tied up and slung over someone's shoulder. We were being taken back to Amegakure.

My memory of it is hazy, but it was undeniably unpleasant. The trip to Ame took three whole weeks, since the survivors of the squadron that attacked the Nara clan had to take many precautions while travelling through such dangerous territory.

I was not treated well, which was no surprise. I was not fed for the entire three weeks and was given only just enough water to survive. It was not good for my physical development, especially considering my age.

Not that it was surprising, since Amegakure was low on rations. They'd had to rely on other nations for their food, and since the war began the countries they normally imported from were hesitant to provide, due to fear of gaining unwanted attention from enemy nations. And also to ensure that should they have to cut themselves off they would have the necessary crops and supplies.

The squadron that was taking me was frequently forced to camp in less-than-desirable locations, and the foul mood in the air sometimes got directed at me, their only prisoner. They also sometimes received orders from homing pigeons to take on spontaneous missions, such as ravaging towns and taking down passing Konoha squadrons.

The squadron was only a quarter of the size of what it had originally been when they finally arrived back in Amegakure.

I had lost a lot of weight by then, my body looked more like a skeleton than it had any right to. We had seen a lot of blood and death, but it all seemed to blur together. I had been bruised and battered myself, and along with Inoko had been thoroughly disillusioned about what a ninja truly is.

I fully expected to be shoved in a cell, tortured until I had nothing of use left to divulge about my clan, and then killed. I did not expect to be that useful as a hostage; the Nara clan is not like the Uchiha, our techniques are not inbred, they are taught. And I had not yet been taught any, and I did not have an inheritable kekkei genkai.

On top of that, I was not a clan heir. In the scheme of things, I was rather inconsequential. In the eyes of the village I would not be missed, nor would Inoko.

It was a sad demise, really. At night, lying on the cold hard ground surrounded by enemies and weapons and this concept of _death_ I would cry myself to sleep, and yet I could hear Inoko's empty encouragement in my head. She had always been a fiery one and didn't give up hope easily. But… I knew her words were hollow.

And it was exactly as I predicted. They tortured me, or tried to anyway. I didn't need much coercion to part with the unimportant information I had. It took them only a day to realise how useless I was. I'd caved the moment my shoulder was stabbed with a kunai. I had tried to be brave, had even braced myself against the shackles holding me, perhaps hoping to have one act of heroism in my short life; to not give in to their torture.

It was a pathetic goal.

The shackles weren't even metal. They were rope. Rope was used for civilians, not that I knew it back then. It just went to show how little of a threat I was. I should have known that I, a boy of merely four years and three weeks, would not be able to deny the pain.

I had remained silent at first as they'd barraged me with questions.

Then, one of them had nodded at the other and he'd brought the kunai down on my shoulder.

I'd screamed and cried, hungry, tired and now in more pain than ever before. In the future I often wondered how I looked to them; barely any skin on my bones, my eyes dark and saggy with fatigue, crying for mercy. Did it make them feel guilt, and guilt at all?

I was left alone after divulging all my answers to them, inconsequential as they were, the kunai still deep in my shoulder.

And I despaired. I knew I, and Inoko, would be dead very soon indeed.

* * *

Fate plays games, I would come to believe. We did not die that night. Instead, our little prison was raided.

We could hear the explosions, the commotion, the guards leaving their posts to see what was going on. Though it was impossible to see from our vantage point.

_Someone must be attacking the prison! Someone is going to save us! _Inoko had yelled victoriously in my mind.

I was more sceptical, but I would take any glimpse of hope I could get at this point.

There was yelling, the sound of bodies hitting the ground, the warmth of a fire jutsu, and before our very eyes the head of one of the guards rolled to a stop at our cell door.

I heard a female voice yelling. "We'll bring with us any that can still walk! Kill the rest," the last part was said grimly. I didn't understand it then, but it is obvious to me now.

They, whoever the newcomer Leaf nin were, were forced to kill the immobile prisoners and fellow Konoha residents to save more of the precious secrets of Konoha from being spilled.

It didn't make it any less horrifying.

There were alarms blaring now. Backup would soon arrive.

And then there was someone unlocking our cell door.

I felt my throat tighten with fear. Felt my body quiver with tension and such palpable _fear. _

I could not walk far. I knew I wouldn't be able to. My body was too weakened from the treatment we'd had to endure the last three weeks. I had not eaten in a long time and every movement made me dizzy and nauseous because of it.

I, _we_ would not be spared.

And then the tears started again, and my face scrunched up as I tried to restrain sobs.

Our cell door slid open.

It was a man with the most piercing golden slitted eyes I had ever seen, with silky long black hair tied up and pale features. The moment I saw him, I knew who it was; my mind springing to a memory of my mother tucking me in, telling me a story. That night, it was of the Sannin, and one particular description seemed to fit;

_"Skin as milky white as a Geisha." My mother once told me. "Hair like a blackened waterfall. A voice like velvet; it lilts, draws you in. Smooth and sweet like honey. His eyes... sharp, the colour of molten amber, undeniably beautiful, yet his pupils are slitted like a demon."_

_Th-th-that's Orochimaru of the Sannin! _Inoko screamed in my mind, confirming my thoughts, her voice full of awe and sheer admiration. _The sannin are saving us!_

But I wasn't so sure.

And the man- Orochimaru of the sannin studied me for just a moment, his eyes expressionless, taking in my useless battered state. I could not be saved, I would only slow them down.

My heart throbbed painfully in my chest, my mouth gaping as I looked death in the face.

He stepped into the cell and pulled a kunai out from seemingly nowhere, and aimed it between my eyes as I looked up at him from my position on the floor, my legs spread uselessly on either side of my body and my hands bound behind my back.

Inoko went silent.

He looked so cold, his eyes merciless. This was a true shinobi, a trained killer, emotionless in the face of murder, be it of man, woman or child.

"Mama," I remember mewling pitifully, even though I knew she was far, far away. "Help, Mama."

But then, something had flickered in those eyes of his, something not so shinobi like. And suddenly I was being scooped up. Then he was moving, into the hallway and releasing the last of the capable prisoners with his other hand.

There weren't many.

Across from my cell was another that had a young man in it, his limbs mangled from torture. They didn't even bother to open his cell door. Instead, a kunai was thrown straight through his brain, killing him instantly.

It was a merciful death. I still wished we did not witness it.

After that I buried my face into his shoulder, trembling, hiding from the carnage and destruction.

Everything passed so fast I don't recall much, but the prisoners were ushered out and while they were herded towards the nearest exit, the three who had saved us, a white-haired man, a blonde woman and the man who was holding us - the _sannin_ were fighting off the backup that was arriving thick and fast.

I won't lie. Even then, not all of the freed prisoners made it out alive, but the majority did. Our three saviours were so strong. I was young and awed by their performance despite the circumstances. In my mind, I could basically _feel _Inoko doing a victory dance, and making a running commentary on them as they fought. She clearly admired them more than anyone, especially now that we'd been spared.

And though I was young, even I had heard whispers of the Sannin yet being rescued by one, no _three _of them seemed simply unbelievable.

It had to be a dream.

Even while holding me in one arm, the black haired one did not miss a beat as he fought. I felt dizzy from the speed at which he moved, the feeling of my body spinning whenever he flipped, his sudden movements causing my stomach to revolt. But I wasn't complaining.

The battle was fast and brutal. I remember glimpses of his power; snakes shooting from his sleeves, the earth levitating around us, rain becoming spears, lightning dancing across his spare hands.

At one point, there were ten ninja all jumping towards us at once from every direction, and in one clean motion he jumped up and spun with his spare hand out, and it created some kind of wind scythe, slicing the men in half.

A kunai, spinning towards my throat at incredible speeds.

I thought for certain it was the end, but-

A pale hand catching it just before it implanted in my neck. Of course I was shocked, yet again coming so close to death and being saved by this terrifyingly strong man. There was a strange tag attached to the kunai, and he whipped it away at an oncoming ninja just before it exploded, killing the enemy nin immediately.

The three truly were a perfect trio. The white-haired one provided the brunt of the hand-to-hand combat, the black-haired one acted as support and collatoral damage, while the blonde woman finished off the weakened opponents with one hit and healed the injuries of her team.

Just outside the village a Konoha squadron was waiting to receive the prisoners and take them to safety. They were soon siphoned off while the three continued to fight tirelessly, holding the Ame nin at bay. Soon the backup was called to retreat when it was clear the losses were outweighing the victory, even for a large number of Ame jounin and chunin.

And then the three of them moved off wordlessly, in a different direction to the escapees and their squadron. I didn't know what they planned to do with me but I said nothing.

We had been awed, yet we were still terrified. If the blonde woman had condemned the other prisoners to death, there was no reason the same would not happen to us.

_That's Tsunade-sama, _Inoko informed me, somehow sounding breathless. _She's an icon. She's the best medic in the world, and not only that didn't you see her strength! She's amazing!_

I had a differing opinion. My limited interaction with her had been hearing her yell the death order which would have had us killed had the black-haired one not decided to spare us, and then watching her ruthlessly kill off Ame nin with her incredible strength.

I clung to the one who had saved me, shivering as my clothes were soon soaked through from the pouring rain. Only an hour after an hour of high-speed travel did the three finally start to speak.

"The boy will be a liability," was the first thing that was said, by the woman I now feared more than anyone. Her voice was flat, devoid of emotion.

Our saviour nodded.

"I know," he responded simply, and my tiny fists clenched tighter to his flak jacket.

What did that mean?

"Well, I for one am glad you saved him," the white-haired man piped up. "But don't expect me to share my sleeping bag with him tonight."

"Or me, for that matter," added the blond one. "And since you saved him, he's your responsibility. How do you expect to provide food? We barely have enough for ourselves!"

"But Tsunade-hime, you're a woman. Can't you just breastfeed-"

There was the sound of a fist meeting flesh, and a wheeze escaped the white-haired one.

"I dare you to finish that sentence, perve!" she yelled.

"I understand, Tsunade-hime, and as for the food I will manage," our saviour said, his voice calm and oddly melodious. It was soothing in a way, sweet like honey and silky smooth, just as my mother had described. "However would you not consider healing his wounds?"

There was a slight pause, and a begrudging agreeance.

It was hours until we arrived at wherever the team- the _sannin_ had been heading. I could still barely believe it. It was dark when we finally came to a craggy overhang that provided protection from the elements.

I was dumped in a corner and ignored while the three set up camp, basic as it was. A small fire surrounded by three sleeping bags was about the extent of it. Then they sat themselves around the fire.

I was curled up and shivering where I had been left until a hand grabbed the back of my neck and lifted me, like a kitten, and carried me over to the blonde lady, and I was unceremoniously dumped at her feet.

I mewled at the treatment, and I was clearly not the only one who was displeased.

"Hey, don't be such a di- I mean jerk if you want me to help."

"Yea, that's a kid you've got there, not a puppy," the white-haired one added.

The dark-haired one, Orochimaru, shrugged lightly.

"I saved him, is that not enough? Plus children are durable little things."

The woman grumbled under her breath about insensitive assholes as her hand gently came to rest on the skin around the kunai lodged in my shoulder.

I flinched at the touch, curling into myself. It was not long ago that I had been spending every night in captivity and beaten at the whim of anyone who so pleased.

"You're lucky this was left in kid, otherwise you might have bled out already," the blonde said, as if that was meant to reassure me.

And then, without warning, she pulled the kunai out in one fluid motion.

The pain hit the moment the shock dissipated and I screamed and flailed and cried, certain she was about to kill me- to kill _us._

"Oh shut up," the woman snapped, having to hold me down as she healed my now bleeding wound. "It's not that bad. I numbed it."

And she was right. I quieted down a moment later when I realised that it hadn't actually hurt _that _much, and her glowing green palm that hovered slightly over the wound was quickly quelling the rest of the pain.

Then she got to work on my other wounds, mostly cuts and bruises but I was certain that I had some fractures at the time, maybe even a broken rib or two.

"There, all better," she said, finally giving me a reassuring smile fitting of a nurse. It terrified me more than anything. It simply did not _fit _her.

"Hey look, the kid's a Nara," the white-haired one exclaimed, pointing at the back of my shirt which was in tatters and stained with blood. But my clan symbol was still decipherable if you looked very hard.

"Hmph, I heard they were attacked a few weeks ago but I was under the impression the clan was unscathed. I suppose this one wasn't," Orochimaru drawled.

"What's your name, kid?" Jiraiya asked gently. I sat up, nervous at being directly addressed. I had hoped to keep my mouth shut the whole way.

For a moment, I didn't know what to say. My mouth didn't seem to want to work in the face of their curious gazes.

These were the _sannin._

They were dangerous, feared killers. Even though they were from our village, they had not hesitated to kill many fellow citizens. I would have to tread lightly.

And it wasn't only me anymore; it was Inoko's life too, but she seemed to be a backseat viewer in my mind, unable to control any of my movements, only able to watch everything I see and converse with me.

"Shi- Shikato," I whispered my lie, my voice sounding faint and hoarse, stuttering only because my teeth were clattering together from the cold. If they were surprised at my pause, they didn't show it.

I don't know what possessed me to lie like that; looking back, I think it was simply paranoia. And can you blame me?

"He can't talk like this. Orochimaru," Tsunade uttered pointedly, lifting me to my feet before shoving me in his direction.

Ninja can be decidedly cruel, Inoko and I now knew, even when they're your allies.

I crumpled just as I reached him, and semi-caught myself on his kneecap.

Then he sighed and stood up, taking me with him.

_Ask him what he's doing! _Inoko shrieked in my mind as he carried me away and began to strip me.

Since I was decidedly concerned myself, ask him I did.

"Wh-what are you do-doing?" I squeaked, but he didn't bother to answer. Instead, he tossed my clothes into a heap on the ground and pushed me under a stream of water that was leaking through the cave roof. It created a natural shower from the rain and the holes in the rocks.

I was already freezing as it was, but with the addition of cold water I tried to jerk away, only when he held me in place I instead tried drop to the ground and curl into a tiny ball, but he wouldn't let me do that either.

I glanced at the puddle below me, where my bare feet were immersed in drenched sand, and I was shocked at how much _blood _was pooling there, along with general dirt. I didn't realise it had so thickly caked around my shoulder and other various wounds.

Then he shoved my head under too which wasn't pleasant, and I cried out at his less than gentle treatment.

_This isn't right! _Inoko was screaming in my mind. _How dare he do this!_

I wasn't there for too long, thankfully. After using my soaked shirt to scrub the remaining filth off my body, which was no easy task considering the conditions I'd been in the last three weeks, he finally tucked me under arm and carried me back to the fire. Then he sat me down next to it.

Stark naked.

Though to be honest I was more worried about getting warm and dry considering my body was now shaking so badly I honestly thought, in my limited experience, I might _die. _I sat as close as I could to the fire without getting burnt, and slowly I dried off and warmed up until I was no longer wracked with shudders.

"So kid, how did you end up there, huh?" Jiraiya asked once my shivering finally stopped, shifting himself closer to the flames.

I paused in thought, but opened my mouth and was relieved that my jaw decided to cooperate.

"A big ninja man found me and my friends, Choichi and Inoko while we were running away because our caretakers told us there was an attack," I whispered, my voice small. Back then I did not actually know what death was, despite having seen it before my very eyes. I knew the word, but the concept of it was foreign to me.

"He- he did _this _to Inoko," I slid my finger across my throat "with the sharp metal thing he had." I was struggling with my limited vocabulary.

Inoko knew the words I was certain, but she was keeping strangely silent.

"And then all her blood went everywhere, and she couldn't move anymore, and she went to sleep. But I don't know if she's ok because everything went black after that. I don't know what happened to Choichi either," I finished.

I knew she was ok. She was in my mind, after all, but I did not know about her body. And I did not know of Choichi. I had not seen him since.

"Your little friends are dead," Orochimaru told me bluntly. "The loss of a generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho. A shame, indeed."

I stared at him with hollow eyes.

"Dead?" I whispered.

"They won't ever wake up again," he stated coldly.

_He's probably right, _Inoko whispered gently. _If they killed me, they probably killed him._

"Damnit Orochimaru," Jiraiya growled. "He's just a kid."

"It is the truth, Jiraiya," Orochimaru snapped back, his usually calm face twisting with anger. "Sometimes the truth is kinder. He would have found out sooner or later."

"How long ago?" The blonde one cut in, her gaze distant as she stared into the flames.

I frowned thoughtfully.

_I think it was 2 or 3 of weeks, I tried to count the days, _Inoko supplied.

I repeated so aloud.

Jiraiya nodded, Orochimaru's theory confirmed.

They didn't say much after that, but Jiraiya unsealed a plain, standard long-sleeved black jounin shirt from a scroll and tossed it to me. I caught it before it landed in the fire and gratefully shoved it on, though it was far too big. It pooled around my feet, even while standing, and the sleeves touched the ground. Still, it was better than the tatters of my old clothes. Or nothing, as the case was.

Then, my stomach growled, and I winced at the feeling. I hadn't eaten in weeks.

There was a sigh and a moment later I was offered a ration bar of some kind, from Orochimaru.

I took it from him, staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers. To me, to _us_, this felt like an act of god.

His lips quirked in amusement, maybe at the awed expression on my face or the way I took the bar reverently.

I unwrapped it, my hands shaking slightly. I couldn't even remember what it felt like to eat. For a ridiculous moment, I feared I might have forgotten how, but the moment I put it in my mouth my fears vanished when I nibbled just a tiny bit from the side.

It was bland, but to me it tasted like the best thing in the world, and I gulped down the rest of it within moments.

"How long has it been since you last ate?" the blonde woman asked, looking slightly concerned.

I tilted my head as I considered.

"They didn't give me any food," I responded.

She looked both disgusted, and for a moment I thought she would slap me. But then I recognised that the emotions weren't directed at me.

"I will take first watch," Jiraiya said a few moments later, and that seemed to be the cue for Orochimaru and Tsunade to get into their sleeping bags, shedding only their outer armour.

I glanced about, not sure what I was meant to do, but since I hadn't been addressed, I shrugged and lay myself down beside the flames on the bare stone. Silence fell over the makeshift camp, though the sound of rain pouring down could still be heard, and the smattering of it across the rock shielding us.

After a while I began to shiver again as my body slowed down and sleep beckoned me. I had a full stomach, was somewhat clean for the first time and was in an arguably safe environment. Yet sleep eluded me because of the simple fact whenever my body relaxed too much, I would become cold.

An hour or so later, Jiraiya grumbled something nonsensical under his breath and heaved himself to his feet.

"Here, kid," I found myself lifted in my semi-conscious state and carried over to Orochimaru's sleeping bag.

"Your responsibility," Jiraiya stated matter-of-factly to the motionless lump inside the bag.

Jiraiya knelt over and unzipped it, and then I was roughly shoved against a warm body which let out an annoyed sigh, and then it was rezipped, sealing me inside with my reluctant host. Not that I was conscious enough to really notice, or even know what was going on.

I cuddled into the source of warmth, pressing my face into warm, soft skin which in hindsight was his throat, and finally sleep took me.

* * *

When I awoke next, we were already on the move, the three silent as ghosts.

It was still raining, the world looking bleak as dark clouds covered the sun. It left me in a perpetual state of cold; not enough to shiver since I was under a small cloak that Orochimaru wore, but still enough that every moment I was thinking about how nice it would feel to have a nice hot shower.

I was perched on Orochimaru's back and as I came to, I felt better than I had in a long time. Clearly, I had slept for a long time. If the sun was any indication it was already reaching afternoon.

I remained silent as the three ran, their faces serious. I was just a child, barely past the stage when all people would do was coo at me and pull ridiculous faces to make me laugh.

It scared me a bit, but at the same time it was just a bleak reminder of the reality of war.

Now that I finally had a moment to think, I could ponder my dilemma with Inoko.

_So... do we tell anyone? _Inoko wondered.

I thought about it long and hard. Even though I was a mere child of four years, I was a Nara. I was not stupid. Telling the village could lead to unwanted attention and the possibility of me being mind-walked by another Yamanaka- and who knew _what _could happen with three minds in the same head at once.

On top of that, even if we did tell the village, there was the distinct possibility we might be tested on, to see if Inoko's consciousness could be removed. And if they failed, one or both of us may die.

No doubt we would be a freak show too; a Yamanaka trapped in the mind of a Nara? Researchers would be queuing for miles to meet such an abnormality.

No. We would keep quiet for now. It was the best option until we could come up with a solid plan of action.

_And what of my family? _Inoko asked quietly.

I had no answer to that.

I did wonder though; could Inoko see all my memories and read all my thoughts, experience my feelings?

_Yes and no, _Inoko replied. _I can search through your memories and I can hear your thoughts. But I can't really experience your feelings, physical or mental. I can read them in a sort of detached way, but they aren't my thoughts and feelings._

So she could read mine, but I could not read hers. Interesting. I supposed it would be pointless if I could read her mind since that would defeat the purpose of interrogation. According to her it was an interrogation technique, after all.

_We're going to need to research this when we get back, but I don't think anything like this has ever occurred before. And we have to decide too; do we want to become ninja? I may have been about to become a genin, but after all this..._

She trailed off.

_Well, I guess it's up to you._

Nara's were a clan of mixed lineage; it wasn't strange to be a civilian or a ninja. In fact, since our clan compound required management of the deer and was used to make medicines it wasn't uncommon for Nara to be civilian.

But is that what I wanted? An easy escape?

The last three weeks had changed me, no doubt about it. But was it better to hide away as a civilian, or to become a ninja so I could protect myself from this ever happening again?

An hour or so later, the Sannin came to a stop in a clearing where a Leaf squadron was awaiting them. Most ninja that are deployed are done so in teams of 8 ninja, called a squadron.

But not the Sannin. Other ninja, even jounins clearly held them back.

The squadron bowed low as the three of them dropped into the clearing with me tagging along.

"Orochimaru-sama, Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama!" The three were greeted in unison.

Then one of the ninja stepped forward, wearing an armband marking him as the squadron leader.

"You sent us a message to make a detour to meet you on our return," he stated. "What is it you require assistance with?"

And then I was lifted from Orochimaru's back and he held me out to the ninja, who sweat dropped.

"Take this child with you. He's an escaped prisoner of war."

My mouth dropped.

I had not expected to be passed off so quickly, and while the idea of returning to the village was tantalising, the idea of being removed from the Sannin suddenly sounded highly unpleasant.

What if this squadron got ambushed? What if they were too weak to protect themselves, and us also? The Sannin would be able to protect me far better.

The moment he set my feet on the ground, I turned back to him and latched onto his leg, hugging it tightly.

This was not happening. I didn't want the Sannin to leave me alone. I had only been in their presence for a short amount of time, yet it was the safest I had felt in a long time. Even if the Tsunade lady was the scariest person I had ever met.

"Don't leave me," I whispered, only half faking the fear in my voice, looking up into golden eyes that seemed to glow. He looked amused as I clung to his leg, my overly long sleeves probably looking rather ridiculous in the way they drooped so blatantly, the shirt almost slipping off my narrow shoulders.

"Hey kid, you'll be safe with them. You can't keep tagging along with us; you'll die," Jiraiya told me seriously.

"We have to go. Just drop the brat and let's get out of here," Tsunade added impatiently.

My eyes widened, horrified as he lifted his knee so he could detach me from his leg.

"You will not be safe with us, little one. We are going to continue fighting. You will be returned safely with them," Orochimaru said, placing me on my feet and I felt the squadron leader catch me by the shoulder before I could latch onto him again.

Then he smiled at me, tinged with amusement as seemed to be his trademark. It wasn't a reassuring smile, but I would take whatever I could get.

"Ciao, kiddo," Jiraiya added with a jaunty wave and an overly enthusiastic grin, especially considering the circumstances. Tsunade just sighed.

And then the three of them... disappeared.

Then I was being hurried along with the squadron that seemed relieved to finally be returning home. It was clear they had been out for months already, fighting on the frontlines, and finally they were getting a small reprieve to visit their families before they would once again be deployed.

My worries were unfounded; the journey back went relatively smoothly, as much as it can during a war.

And, three days later, we went through security bordering the village and I found myself left just inside the village walls, instructed to find my way home. Clearly they had no time to spare for me.

The return to my clan did not seem to be enough cause for celebration. Out of respect of my privacy or genuinely not wanting to know, I was not asked why my skin was sunken and sallow, the last of my baby fat clinging stubbornly to my cheeks. My skeletal state was not questioned. My eyes, so hopeless they were, did not seem to be enough to warrant a shred of pity.

Shikaku was the only one to greet me when I returned. I soon found out he had become clan head. In the time I'd been away, his father had died on the frontlines. I would find that out later.

He'd greeted me with a sigh, and I felt a lump in my throat. I'd hoped to be better received. I'd hoped to have warranted a smile, at the least. Did I really mean that little to him, even though I was part of his clan?

But I was a fool. Who was I kidding, war changes everything.

In the future I would look back and realise just how young he was; sixteen at most. But at the time, being only four, all I saw was a giant, a person so much older than me I couldn't ever imagine being that age. Maybe I would have been less bitter if I understood how his shoulders were weighed down with responsibilities and burdens that I could not even imagine.

Then he'd led me to my house.

My steps quickened. I was, for the first time, genuinely excited. I would see my parents again. They would be so happy to see me. I could just imagine my father's warm smile, and my mother crying into my hair as she hugs me.

But when Shikaku slid open the door to our house, no one came running to greet us.

_They must still be out fighting, _Inoko reasoned.

But my eyes traced the dust lightly layering every surface of the room; half packed boxes strewn about the room.

"What-?"

"I'm sorry, Shikazu. We thought you weren't returning. We were having your house cleared."

There were tears running down my cheeks. I sank to my knees.

There was no mention of my parents. They were clearing my house.

My parents weren't coming back.

I covered my face with my hands and I just...

Cried. Helplessly. And Shikaku walked away with barely a glance at me.

I screamed into my sleeves and no one seemed to care.

* * *

Until I entered the academy and could live by myself back at the Nara clan, I would be stuck in one of the overflowing orphanages.

It was not a pleasant experience.

The facilities were run down from overuse, food was sparse and the kids were general _horrors._

Especially since word about me had spread. People had started referring to me as the 'Lost Fawn', or if they thought they were witty, the 'Lost Kid'.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised. As a member of one of the Big Three clans that had survived being a prisoner of war, it was no surprise people quickly heard about what happened to me.

It was partly because my tale had something of a happy ending, if you could call it that. I came back alive, and that was enough of a happy ending in this time of war.

The Lost Fawn. Apart from the obvious connotation of it, being that I was a Nara that had been 'lost' and captured by the enemy, it also had a double meaning.

The village always tied in deer with butterflies and flowers, since the Big Three represented these things.

Hearing 'Lost Fawn' is missing two key components that Leaf nin always associate with deer.

It was like Orochimaru had said. A lost generation of Ino-Shika-Cho that had never had the chance to shine. In fact, it was more of an expectation that never came to fruit. We were untrained yet, simply the idea of an Ino-Shika-Cho formation.

Hence I was a fawn or kid, both meaning baby deer. A young deer was useless. In the eyes of the village I was incomplete. A lost fawn in an entirely different sense.

And it stung. Every time I heard that term bandied around carelessly. Inoko too, was shaken.

It hurt. It made me remember the cold reception I had received from my clan when I had returned. Like I was not worth their time anymore. No one but Shikaku had bothered to greet me.

It made me think of Choichi. It made me think of the first kill I had witnessed, of Inoko's body falling to the ground in her attempts to protect us. It made me remember the words from the mouth of the one who had saved me.

_"A shame, indeed."_

That's what we meant to our village. I was shunted to the side, the death of my generation of Ino-Shika-Cho marking me as just an incomplete part now.

A lost fawn.

Fitting, indeed.

But I was going to work hard to rid myself of that label. Traditionally, Nara genin are put on a team with the Yamanaka and Akimichi closest in age to them. But I wasn't going to follow that ridiculous tradition. It may be a fairly good combo in general terms, but there were always unexplored possibilities. My clan might see me as a lost cause without Choichi and Inoko, but I didn't.

I was not a lost cause. I was not a lost fawn. I was going to be a ninja, and I would do it on my own terms. With or without my clan.

* * *

**Hee~**


End file.
